New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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