My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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