i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
it's great music for shaving your balls
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
