Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
