I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
my liver is dry heaving
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
