Just fell off a train. Bad.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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