just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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