I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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