Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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