Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize