I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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