went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
