I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
