At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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