Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
