Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize