shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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