butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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