It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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