i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
