I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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