We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
