Dual....:-)
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
and she was petting her beer can
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
