didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
