So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm jealous of your bromance
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
