But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize