Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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