Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Randomize
