do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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