just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
