This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
