Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
