Its about making memories worth repressing
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
