Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
