Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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