is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
