Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
