It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
In America we eat man semen.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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