craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
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