Midget sex pt 2 tonight
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
