OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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