Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Randomize
