Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
