One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize