Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
