I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize