We're facebook friends in real life
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
