I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
