PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Girls should come with a carfax report
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize