Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
You left your phone here
Wait...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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