no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
