You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
