Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
