He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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