Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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