Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
In America we eat man semen.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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