Will you blow on my dice?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
and you fell through a lawn chair
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
