spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
