there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
